Racquetball + Weight

I went to my racquetball class for the first time in two-and-a-half weeks. (I hadn't been feeling well, so I didn't go.) I told my teacher that I had been sick and that my immune system sucks, and he told me I should look into taking Vitamin D3 supplements. Have any of you taken them?

Also, I weighed myself at the gym for the first time in over a month. 140.5 pounds. Pretty normal. Need to get back on track if I want to lose that 20.5 pounds to hit my first goal weight.

On Being Sick, the Full Story

This might get long; we'll see how it goes.

Last Saturday, I started having horrible muscle cramps in my stomach. My arms and legs felt bruised. The cramping was so bad I spent Saturday and Sunday on my couch. Even just walking down the hall to the elevator left me winded and doubled over in pain. I was also in the bathroom constantly, if you know what I mean. Eating was almost impossible, as my stomach hurt horribly whenever I ate anything or drank something cold. So that was my weekend.

Enter Monday. Since I hadn't been able to do anything all weekend, I told myself I'd do something this day. I went to my Jazz dance class and forced myself through it. I went to my work-study (and got to see my two teachers rehearse again). And I went to work, though I had to leave early because I felt sicker and sicker as time went on.

Tuesday. Still sick. Sat out on my ballet class, which was sad since it would've been a fun class.

Wednesday morning I went into the university clinic to make a doctor's appointment. That afternoon, I met with a nurse and found out that I was down to 138 pounds. 138! Yikes! As much as that number is deliciously low, I'd like to get there by my own wishes, not because of a virus. Yup, the doctor said I most likely have a virus causing the inflammation of my gastrointestinal lining. Basically, I have the flu, but with the added bonus of it being horribly painful when I eat.

So now I'm forcing myself to eat. Still not as much as a healthy person should, but I'm trying to keep from having my weight drop any more until I get better. Losing weight isn't good for recovering.

There we are. I'm working on recovering. Once I'm feeling better, I'll be posting more often.

Good News and Bad News

Bad news first; I want to end on a positive note.

Weight's back up. From the hurried check I did after class this morning, I'm around 143.5 pounds. Ugh. And it's all my fault. I've been stuffing my face like nuts lately. But my classes have been so stressful lately.

But there's also good news about classes. Ballet has been a blast, and my teacher likes me. Especially my name. Every time she calls roll or says my name, she sings it. Sometimes with a giggle. It's amusing. And what we're doing is so much fun. I get along with the kids in the class and while it causes my muscles to shake, it's a great workout.

Also, today a couple new kids added the class. Including a guy with a very nice butt. That's right, I said it. There's nothing like a fit guy in nothing but a t-shirt, tights, and a dance belt. Ooh la la. And while we were working at the barre, some of the dance majors from the composition class next to us sat in the lounge and were watching us. Including the cute guy I did swing and salsa dance with last semester. I caught his eye as he peered in through the door and we made our usual goofy faces (complete with raised and lowered brows) at each other. I've missed seeing him.

Tomorrow I've got a discussion (and a practice debate that I foolishly volunteered for) and my jazz class. Tonight, it's a cup of Mountain Dew and a couple aspirins.

Recent Happenings

On Wednesday, I had my first day of jazz dance. We didn't actually dance, but went over the syllabus and got to know each other. The teacher is super upbeat and all of the students seem really nice. A lot of them are freshmen, so I got to explain to them how to get into the building that the class is in (it's off campus and you need to scan your hand and have a pin number) and what shuttle to take. It was nice to be able to help. Also, the room we're in is gorgeous. It's got big, east-facing windows that let in a lot of light and hardwood laminate floors with a strip of marley flooring down the middle to dance on.

One of the main studios on campus has been having new marley floors put in for at least the past week. But yesterday afternoon, it was finally finished! That means that my ballet class was finally out of the tiny studio we were put in and back into the wonderful studio I love. And ballet yesterday was so much fun. I'm getting really close to a musical theater major guy in the class, and the extra room means we can pull the barres out and have a lot more space. Yesterday, ballet was almost nothing but plies. Lots of plies, releves, stretches, etc. We also did some across-the-floor stuff, leaps and skips and diagonally across the room even, like you see in movies. My thighs are still aching.

Today there were open auditions for the big show that the senior dance students put on. Anyone was allowed to come, so I spent two and a half hours having a blast with close to 70 other girls and guys. There were a number of past or current classmates of mine, one of whom had never been to an audition before. I had to reassure her that even if she doesn't get cast, she'll have fun and will never be able to say, "I've never been to one of these before" again. The entire process was so much fun. And afterwards, a couple of the choreographers came into the coffee shop I help out at while I was helping close up. I'm hoping the fact that I recognized them, said hello, and got them cheap delicious drinks will help me. One of them said I did really well, though I'm sure she'd say that to anyone she'd run into. But whatever.

Weightwise, I'm not sure how I'm doing. I haven't been eating much lately, but what I have been eating is all sugary and the like. I've been craving salt and sugar like it's nobody's business. But I've also been doing physical activity every day for classes, so there's a plus. I can't go tomorrow, but maybe I'll head to the gym on Sunday to check my weight.

Exercise + Food + Faire

I went to the gym again today. When I weighed myself before the work-out, I was down to 141.5 pounds! I'm certainly over that now, since I went out to eat with Boyfriend and a friend afterwards, but I spent 40 minutes straight on the elliptical without feeling tired. It was wonderful.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the Renaissance Faire (like Boyfriend and I do every year with friends) but I don't really feel like it this year. I have nothing to wear and I'm feeling sick. And after going for so many years straight, there's nothing new to see. And I have hundreds (thousands?) of pictures from the faire, so even that isn't a reason to go. I'm thinking I might skip out to do stuff around the apartment and spend some more time at the gym. Now, to think of a way to tell Boyfriend that I don't want to go.

Sorry, again.

It's been almost a month since I've posted. Yikes! So sorry!

Anyways, classes started two days ago, and I'm still sore. My ballet teacher is super nice and the other classes I had that day were enjoyable too. And I've hardly eaten anything. The nice thing about a busy schedule is that you can just say, "Oh, no time to eat now!" or "I'll grab something after my next class" and no one questions it.

I just got back from the university gym. The first thing I did was slip off my shoes and sweater and make my way to the big scale at the back of the locker room.

142 pounds.

Hells yes.

Sure, it's not nearly as much as I was hoping, but I was worried that all my summer bingeing would leave me over what I was when summer started. But that's not the case. And with 5 hours of dance and 2 hours of racquetball a week, as well as whatever dance classes I can make it to at the studio I work at and whatever various classes I can make it to at the gym on weekends, I should be burning calories like it's going out of style this semester.

We can do it!

Sorry!

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I've been doing better lately, but still eating too much. I have no self-control. Also, I'm not pregnant. Sorry if I worried any of you.

I just feel like I'm not worthy of posting, since I've been doing so poorly. I feel like I'm letting you down. I feel like I'm letting myself down. I'm so worried that I'm going to weigh myself once school starts and I'll be even bigger than I was before summer started.

Help me.

Sorry! + Weight + Plans + Liquid Fast?

Sorry that I haven't been updating much. I just feel like such a failure. I've been eating and eating and eating, everything in sight. Even when I'm not hungry, I'm stuffing my face. I don't have access to a scale, but I'm sure I'm quite a few pounds up in weight. I feel so gross.

But here's a story: about a week ago, Boyfriend and I were talking about weight, and I mentioned how everyone thinks I'm younger than I am, lighter than I am, and a bigger cup size than I am. Since he knows my birthdate and bra size, he tried to guess my weight. And his guess? 130! Sure, it's a lot higher than I want to be (110) but it's also a lot less than I am right now.

No pictures this post, as I'm on campus before work.

Plans for tomorrow:
-work out for at least 1.5 hours
-40 calorie Green Giant cauliflower-and-cheese tray for lunch
-egg fried rice for supper
-lots of water

Also, I'm thinking about trying another 24-hour liquid fast. I'd have to get some LifeWaters and stuff to drink so that I'm not just stuck with water. Anyone want to do it with me?

May + Weight Gain + Inspiration

Happy May! That means that I have just over a month before my dance auditions. Oh no!

Also, I went to the gym for a bit yesterday evening and when I weighed myself, I was back up to 148.5 pounds! The bingeing the past couple of days hit me harder than I thought it would. But it's the weekend now, meaning lots of gym time. I'll have to work out extra long today, since I'm going out to eat with my family tomorrow, so I can't skip as much food. But today I've had some pasta, a couple chocolate-covered raisins, and am planning to only have an apple and some Sun Chips for supper.


Looks like Anne Hathaway!

This girl is so beautiful.


Gorgeous lean legs.


Beautiful delicate wrists.

Look at her tiny arms!

More Weight Loss

I am, as of last night, at 145.6 pounds.

Weight Loss!

I'm down another 1/3 pound! 146, baby! And the gym's open until 10 tonight, so I'm going to head back up there later today. I was just feeling dizzy without food, so I came home to grab a slice of pizza and a bottle of water.

Stay skinny!

Down Some More!

I went back up to the gym for about another hour, and when I weighted myself before leaving, I was down to 146.3! Another 1/3 pound gone! And I tried a new stair-stepping machine that I like a lot. I wish I had this much time to work out every day. I'd be in shape so quickly.

Gym + Finally Down!

I just got back from the gym! And when I weighed myself, I nearly cried in joy. 146.6! It's not great, but it's a start. I'm finally down! And I'm planning on going back up there later, as I forgot my racquetball equipment before.

Also, I forgot that the dance auditions were today. I wasn't auditioning at these ones (I'm going in June), but it was weird to see so many people on campus on the weekend. Especially when you add in the mess of young kids at the gym for a kids' track meet.

Weight

I don't understand this at all. Even with the restricting and more exercising than I've ever done before in my life, I still gained half a pound! Ugh!

Disappointment

Today I found the scale in the gym. It's even one of those big ones like they have at doctor's offices, not the digital ones you keep under your bathroom sink. And I weigh 148 pounds! Uck! I'm nearly half of three hundred pounds!

But I did good at the gym today. Ran/walked 2.38 miles in 30 minutes. I'm getting faster. I'm hoping to get back up there later today, and I'm planning on going after I'm done with work every day, since I'll be on campus anyway and the gym's open until 11. Also, this week my second dance class starts, so I'll be getting more of a workout during my classes.

This is me now: